DocAndersen
In the past three years, I have posted some “what we need, what the authors would like, what is missing, what works well” posts about Virily. Here is the thing I’ve learned out of all those different posts, polls and interactions. Time spent that I have learned. The best part of Virily, is actually what was the best part of Niume, the community. I posted a let’s introduce ourselves post about a week ago. There are some very interesting people that haunt the posts of Virily. The stories of Virily would be a very interesting book to read. There are stories of spots loss, of redemption and stories told by artists. I find evolutions that the conversations I engage in (respond/reply) are with people I honestly find amazing.
It is also why I do ignore the comments of some people. I am trying to move our community forward and wholly or partially negative posts, and comments are not going to help us. I do also know that it is important to be true to ourselves. I learned many years ago as a teacher that you can’t only say negative things to someone. If you do that, they will ignore what you say. You have to balance the positive and negative. I love to comment, to share something I found or learned in the photos I read. Here is the most important thing I have learned about that; it is what I found. I am responsible for what I see, what I do and how I react to anything. My responsibility is me.
There are things I love about Virily (community, interaction with people) and things I don’t like. For example, I don’t like the fact that the latest version of Windows 10, doesn’t allow you the thumbnail viewer for gallery’s that it used to. I know that is my issue, but I know it is annoying. I also know it is the latest version of Windows 10, I have a VM I don’t update, and it doesn’t have the problem. Building software is a process. I have collected issues, concerns and shared those with the admin team. I have the same luck the rest of you do with the admins. Sometimes they respond, sometimes they do not. From that, I have learned a lesson that some authors have shared before.
We are stronger if we work together!
I would like to personally thank the community for how amazing you are!
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Question of
do you ignore comments that are negative?
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Yes
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No
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Question of
Do you ever feel like you need to defend others?
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Yes
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No
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Question of
Do you try to help new authors?
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Yes
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No
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Question of
Do you read the comments of others on other authors posts?
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Yes
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No
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This is really interesting, You’re a doing well!
Thanks. The goal was to thank our wonderful community of authors!
All depend on whether there is a need to defend ourselves or other people. When I do not like to deal with a negative comment, anything the person say I reply with “You are right” ???. But trust me, it still pisses off people ?
I just get frustrated now with personal attacks (YOU are not listening to me type of stuff or You always do this, or you made me angry)!
Doc, why should you get frustrated? Reacting to personal attacks in the form of frustration is what that person expects from you. I like giving them what they do not expect from me. Too, if you let the negativity affects you, then you are giving energy to that negativity. Breathe in. Breathe out. Then type “you are right I agree ?” ?
i just let it roll and ignore the comments when I can. Sometimes they are so outrageous I can’t let them sit.
I have limits.
FB has more toxic culture than Virily. What I think is that it would be much better to ask help from admin in dealing with overly negative people. Or go the Buddhist way and extend compassion. They need it ?
I do try compassion – you are right it is the first option. But when those attack others who need support, I support.
That is true of face to face communications, too. Being negative accomplishes nothing. I do love a favorite saying by our pastor’s wife, too, “It is better to be kind than to be right.” I might disagree with someone and explain why, without arguing, but I just don’t see the point in being negative.
That is a good point, thanks Rex.
The only concern about always taking the high road, is sometimes there is no roadblock on the low road.
Quite true. Also, humility enters into it. Being humble is a good thing, but it is quite difficult to be humble if a person thinks that they are right about everything and that there is no margin for error.
that is ultimately the greatest test and the one most of us fail.
Unfortunately, that is also human nature. Many people think they have the answer when they don’t even know what the question is. I’ve been guilty of that, too.
I used to teach a class for beginning software architects. I always started with a sign that said
2
and
1
I never told them what the sign means until the end of class.
Two ears
and
One mouth
use them in that ratio!
That is an excellent point! I wonder how many people heeded that sage advice?
I have a really good friend that built a personality deck of cards (each card had a pattern and anti-pattern of communication). He added my card to his deck as a couple of others.
a picture of two ears,
the match was a picture of one mouth!
Overall i would say in fairness less than 1/2 ultimately heeded the advice.
Virily is a great opportunity to practice social skills. Perhaps I’m too optimistic but I believe there are ways to express our opinions or disagreements without hurting someone’s feelings. At the same time, it’s important to learn how to deal with our own anger (quoting a comment of yours). ?
I love drama but I find it difficult to hate people or see people being hated, so I end up playing the “devil’s advocate” in some cases.
i don’t like to be attacked personally, but when someone disagrees with my ideas, I understand and move towards the middle ground!
To my mind, contribution of those people you’ve mentioned to Virily (and, without a doubt, yours) is huge!!! As for me, try to support some new authors with comments & upvotes.
Thank you for what you do! A community is about helping everyone!
I’m not comfortable introducing myself where 3 1/2 billion people can read it for all eternity. I’m sorry. I can’t comment here either. You could always message me where we could “talk”. Anyone could anytime.
I do understand that. I am very careful about PII and how that is thrown about.
It’s mostly that I’m just really bad at that stuff. They make introvert T-shirts I should buy – We’re here. We’re nervous. And we want to go home. 🙂
ROFL
I have one that says Don’t Ask.
I wear it to work all the time!
OMG, I love it. I want one!!! LOL.
my wife got it online somewhere I can ask her.
Good post, I try not to defend others. It is really up to them, sometimes it is hard. I ignore negativity most of the time… I do read comments on posts from others as you know.
yes often my comments 🙂
thanks Kim!!!!!!
Q: do you ignore comments that are negative?
Yes (12 votes) – 75%
No (4 votes) – 25%
Q: Do you ever feel like you need to defend others?
Yes (11 votes) – 85%
No (2 votes) – 15%
Q: Do you try to help new authors?
Yes (12 votes) – 92%
No (1 votes) – 8%
Q: Do you read the comments of others on other authors posts?
Yes (12 votes) – 86%
No (2 votes) – 14%
I haven’t noticed any negative comments yet … I don’t know how I would react … as I know it probably wouldn’t be quiet …. I don’t generally read other comments
🙂 I am glad, you are very kind here and deserve only nice comments!
I’m always nice to kind people …. that left me at work … I had to be nice … if she was a conflicted person I preferred to withdraw or try to explain kindly … there was never any complaint about my account
It can be hard to do sometimes
Hold on … I’d rather bite my tongue and retreat … if I can
I can understand that, there are many times when I have done that.
There are times that I will not, but that is, of course, a wholly personal choice!
It is great to be part of a caring community even if it is a global community.
Every now and then a glitch will happen…hopefully we will learn and it will soon pass.
Thanks Pam, you are right, it is a glitch. A bug. A small problem in the system. This too shall pass.
Most of the really negative posters have moved on.
I have so far not received any negative comments What I noticed is users just view and up vote but not comment. Wish they did that.
If I read negative comments, I would take it as constructive criticism.
Not everyone looks at them the way you do
Grace, you are so right. There is a line from an author, and I for life of me can’t find this quote again.
No two people holding up a mirror
gaze upon the same face.
as long as the comments do not attack me as a human being, I am always open to moving a different direction.
I posted about that over last weekend – based on your comment a couple of weeks ago, and the explosion over last weekend. (lots of reads but 0 comments).
Once again, you are “on the money” Doc. Thank you in advance, for your selfless efforts in trying to bring about positive change to this incredible site.
Andre, I thank you for the kind and thoughtful words. You’ve made me blush. You are a valued member of our band of writers!
I only mind the positive when it comes to posts and comments.
Thanks! We all need to be positive in life!
I have yet to hear anything positive about windows 10
In terms of what?
Device integration and support? Windows 10 is much better than either 7 or 8.
Plug and pray actually works now with generic drivers being as good as the 3rd party-specific drivers.
as far as straight usability goes, I’ve only ever heard complaints like yours. driverwise, it sounds more like a WHQL thing than an OS thing
WHQL is mandatory but has nothing to do with generic versus provided drivers.
The generic drivers are built by Microsoft to functionality (printer, video camera, keyboard) or standards (Bluetooth HID so on).
The 3rd party driver rides over the top of that and specifically adds additional functionality that the WHQL tests for.
sorry, didn’t understand what you meant by generic here. like the old S3 driver that worked on all the video cards back in the day?
yes, Microsoft has rebuilt those in windows 10, they actually work as well as the 3rd party drivers and don’t break any dev rules!
so they got that right and decided just to ruin the user experience?
The problem for Apple, Google, Microsoft et al is the continued evolution (and I know this doesn’t apply to you, but it impacts you) of the realities of:
cell/tablet bite sized applications
touch screens
AR/VR
as an offline desktop user, I feel increasingly stranded by developers
yeah you are the use case they dread in the modern world.
more like the use case they ignore
The UX comes out of the usability labs. It was built to make touch enabled computers more effective.
this will become quite handy when it comes to holographic interfaces
The output to a holographic monitor is quite impressive from Windows 10
they actually have those now? can you wear a glove and actually use the OS that way?
The holographic monitors are view only today. The motion sensitivity is coming but not for a year or so.
that’s gonna be so cool
There is really less negativity here. I hope it will remain so. I ignore the negative comments. Sometimes I read comments of other members, depending on how much time I have.
It really does feel a lot more positive. Thanks, Vidocka!!!!
This is a tough one for me. I wouldn’t even introduce myself when I saw that post. I typically wear my heart right out there on my sleeve and when people choose to it the target is well marked. Sometimes I wonder if I am of any value.
Because I taught for many years, it’s tough to ignore bad behavior. Your instinct as a teacher and a parent is to help them change for the better. I guess I am simply a mess.
as a former teacher, I feel the same way. Bad behavior is a chance to teach. so if you are a mess, so am i!!!!!
I believe yours is a refreshingly balanced personality. If your description is an example of being “a mess”, then I’m a giant mess myself.
Thank you, you made my point much better than I did!
You would have been an excellent teacher Ghostwriter…When it comes down to it, good behaviour or bad behaviour is a choice.
I hope to choose to be the one that uplifts people or attempt to.
It doesn’t always work on others unfortunately.
It is why i get frustrated personally with supposition presented as facts and personal attacks.
Both of those are incredibly destructive in a classroom.
Ghostwriter actually has been a teacher!!!
A lot of the negativity is gone, but I am still here with my complaints here and there. 🙂 And I will defend when I feel necessary.
Always good to see the new members join the community.
I hope the negativity stays away.
But I do listen – thank you for guiding me about being frustrated. you were right!
I’m also right along there with you, Carol, first and foremost, “to thine own self be true!”
to thine own self be true is the most important thing!
This is, for the most part, a positive community. I have learned a lot about the world, other members and myself.
It is a very positive community! Thank you for your contribution!!!
I usually read the post, post my comments after rating up and adding my reactions to them and lastly I read all the comments. I have never seen negative comments in the time I have been here, I have seen some strong comments though. Sometimes I respond to them , sometimes I just ignore.
There are many fewer negative comments now. There used to be many more. But strong comments about a person, not their post, can be very hurtful.
I like reading other people’s comments. I would like to know their response or reaction to a post; not for negative reasons.
I believe if someone disagrees with someone’s post, they shouldn’t post a negative comment. They should provide an educative response in a gentle manner.
I love when people are reasonable but disagree!
My father always said its ok to argue the argument,
Don’t ever argue the person.
I some time defend others and Ignore negative comments
Good to know, have a great rest of your weekend.