Ghostwriter
It’s been a rough night and reality slapped me in the face again. My brother has a seizure that lasted over ten hours. There is nothing you can do but try and keep him from harming himself in any way and try and keep him comfortable as he shakes. There are many different kinds of seizures. He shakes uncontrollably. He can’t speak at all. He doesn’t seem to be able to recognize anyone. He has no recollection of seizure and often doesn’t believe anything has happened. (I have to wonder how many of his seizures go unnoticed because he is in bed.) I feel terribly guilty.
It has become clear that we need help in the home 24/7. I can’t do it all. He wants to be independent and it is just not possible. He can’t remember if he has taken medication. He argues. We are terrified he is going to break his chest open (he still has not recovered from open-heart surgery.) The people who we have interviewed are not people who really can or want to give him the care he needs, so I guess it’s me and I will do the best I can.
In his lucid moments, every time says he makes me promise that I won’t let him die in a hospital. He wants to die at home with me, but only after he gets to go on his last hunt.
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Question of
There really aren’t any answers are there?
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Yes
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No
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Question of
Can I live through this?
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Yes
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No
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I wish I had more than words to offer, more than simply saying I am sorry. You will survive. But take care of you.
today is the best day because it wipes away yesterday.
I know that I just have to do the best I can every day and hope that is enough.
it is all you can do, that has to be enough. whatever isn’t done, just moves to someone else.
Are there any home care services available that have professionals who come into the home for certain time of the day? That would seem the best to me. Perhaps you can speak to the hospital about it.
The home care person watched me take his blood pressure, and other vitals. She sat on the couch while my husband helped him up and got the brace put on him. She asked what time we would be serving breakfast.
That’s when I went downstairs and I didn’t come up until she left.
(about 10 minutes later.)
Hospice sounds like a good option perhaps. Thoughts are with you all.
I meant to say Home Health. They are great to come to your house and help.
It’s all good. Here they are the same people.