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The One Parent Syndrome

I would call this the one parent syndrome because it simply means an irrational fear of losing the one parent you have left. I wrote a post about the several times my mom had some traumas or injuries and how I felt about it. Well, that feeling doesn’t ever leave you because you take perspective of your life. If you are just a child well you might not even think about losing the only parent you have because you might consider this to just not be a possibility. Besides you have your friends and school and life is basically good.

When you get to be a teen you start looking at life a bit more seriously. I know I did. I often thought about how my life which was good would be if my mom suddenly died. Where would I go? What would happen to me? I was a very shy and sensitive teen so the best ideal for me was to be taken into a Latvian family I know like with my godfather. The worst deal would be having the state place me somewhere. So there I was always looking out for mom and glad she was just fine.

In my early 20s, I had pretty much shaken the fear because mom was healthy, I was a grown-up but still had to finish university and at this point there really shouldn’t have been any more irrational fear. Then one Saturday evening I went out to a Latvian party. It was an evening of fun, dancing, and some drinking. Well after a super night I got home in the wee hours of the morning all ready to wake up mom and tell her about my adventures. Mom was in bed and appeared to be sleeping so I sat down next to her on the bed and shook her a bit. She was in some deep dream which I had no way of knowing but what happened next scared about 10 years off of my life. She opened her eyes but they were glazed and started mumbling something in Russian (she had learned the language while living in Latvia) and started flailing her arms. Well, I thought she had had a stroke or something. Heart pounding I dashed down our hallway, flung open our apartment door and started ringing the bell and banging at our neighbor’s apartment door.

I was so terrified it wasn’t funny. It was 3 AM and finally, my poor neighbor who was a Latvian and knew us well opens the door bleary-eyed. She thought goodness knows what had happened. I started to ask her to come into my apartment to take a look at mom when I happened to gaze back into our apartment and saw mom had calmly gotten up and was going to the bathroom. Oh, yeah! I apologized to the woman and told her I would explain everything in the morning. When mom and I both woke up my mom had no recollection about what had happened and we both decide that yes her dream had been very deep and very real. She went to the neighbor herself and apologized for the fear and confusion.

A photo of my mom and dad

  • Question of

    Were you raised by both parents?

    • Yes
    • No
  • Question of

    Would you be afraid if you have only one parent?

    • Yes
    • No

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