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Switch

As per the appointment, I met a colleague in the past. I did ask for help from him for a matter that I was handling. Previously, I did not expect that he was so easy to be asked for help and even very eager to help. About twenty years ago, when we were together before, he was a staff I trusted and relied on to support me in important tasks, but now, he has held an important position in the company where he works and has an extensive network.

In fact, there is nothing I need to say here if nothing extraordinary has happened during my time with him. During his time with him, both on his way to several places, in dealing with people, and in many certain situations he always seemed calm and self-controlled, even very polite. I noticed that there are things or situations that used easily made him nag or curse now that he doesn’t seem to be reacting. Situations, attitudes of other people or certain events that used to make him angry prolonged can be dealt with calmly and relaxed.

On the way back to his office, I praised his changed attitude and asked how he could make the change. “Do you remember the switch button?” He asked. “Ehmm… What switch do you mean?” I ask back. Then he reminded me of what I had taught in various training programs where he played the role of staff and supporting assistants at once in order the training could run effectively and smoothly. “I learned a lot from you while helping you before. I always listen to everything you have said and practice all the tricks you teach the trainees. Indeed, it takes a long time, but I am happy that I can master many of those tricks in the end.”

Really, I feel very happy to hear the flashback story, also about how he lives his life now. “Click”, he said. “As you taught, I used the switch immediately to change the gloomy or dark atmosphere in my mind and feelings as soon as I realized it. I no longer used the switch in reverse to turn off the lights that illuminate my heart and mind.”

“Amazing! You are extraordinary!” I said while praising him. “Thank you very much for what you have given me, whether you realize it or not. I’ve so merged with the affirmations you have shared, and also with the peaceful place that you ask people to create in their minds to become anchors, or to be a source power for the switch button to stabilize and bright the mood and peace. Isn’t that what you taught in the past? “

Really, this is an extraordinary Monday! The matter that I need to follow up on has done, and at the same time has the opportunity to see how someone has changed. Wow! I like Monday!

  • Question of

    Do you have a special way to lead your feelings and moods?

    • Yes
    • No
  • Question of

    If you have it, will you share it?

    • Yes
    • No

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What do you think?

20 Points

33 Comments

  1. I have been there and done that. A senior needs to do those things for youngsters who need a change to better their lives. Little does on realise however that in that process one sees changes on oneself. Practice before you preach. Right?

    Dealing with people has always been an issue with me. I am at a stage however where I can pick and choose and those that disturb my peace I leave them alone.

    1
    • I am glad that you have experience with it. Hopefully, you will be more effective to use it.

      You are right, many preachers only sell the words but cannot carry them out. I myself always try to say what I have experienced, what I have done, and what I can do, especially since the core of most of my training is the practice of spirituality (not religion) which must be practiced on the spot.

      You choose well in relation to people who have the potential to interfere with your comfort, far better than fighting and ruining your mood.

      1
  2. I admire your friend. I know from my own experience how difficult it is to change “behavior”. It is even more difficult for me because it is related to the disease. I have a lot of work to do on myself.

    1
    • I also really admire him. Many people learn something and then just leave it. And yes, changing behavior is not easy, especially because of health and work problems, or in the midst of a prolonged bad situation.

  3. Happy you were in touch with your friend again. I have learned many ways over the years how to handle life. Many times I put things “on a shelf” to deal with later, in my mind of course.

    1
    • Lately, I have contacted quite a number of friends who are willing to help me, and indeed some of the problems are others who need my help. My own problems arouse because I help people, and that is the risk and consequences of something, but those all are valuable lessons as well.

    • Is it true? I see many people around me who are too easily triggered to get angry and darken the atmosphere and very difficult to restore the light of joy.

      Btw, I will be glad if I can find out how you lead emotions, dear friend.

    • Thanks a lot for the compliment, Kim. I think actually it’s not the story that interesting, but how someone is able to control his emotions is the most important. I am a little ashamed to tells something like that because it seems people smell about something which inflates my ego, but sometimes factual stories speak louder than theory, right?

      1
      • True, and I am glad you shared it. I don’t consider it bragging at all. It is interesting to know or hear how your words can have a huge impact on a person’s life, and never know it. So glad he got to share this with you as well.

        1
  4. The switch, I wish it could be physical, just flip it and all is right. I employ many different tactics depending on where I am when I need it.

    With family sometimes I fail more, which has been my focus of late. At work, I am more able to control that need for anger.

    At home, though, I still struggle.

    1
    • It is very understandable that controlling emotions, especially anger is not easy. The fire is often too fast to burn than the time available to aware and control it.

      I am somewhat curious about the tactics you use, which are different for use at home and at work. It is very interesting.

      1
      • breathe
        At work, I breathe. It is the one that works best for me, to stop and breathe. Or, sometimes i use the count to 10.
        review
        I always look at the things I write at work and here on Virily and I step back and make sure that if I hit send, I would accept the message well myself.
        consider
        I also try and apply why would someone say that rule. I find that there are people here, that feel they can say anything in PM’s and honestly I discard interactions with people like that.

        those are three tools I use.

        1
        • Great! Breathing consciously is an effective way!

          About the review, as far as I remember I always try the same thing.

          I don’t know about what people say through your PM, I myself received a lot of PM (before it was active) and about 40% of them were complaints or requests for support.

          1
      • So it is a conscious choice? Often I just go around without thinking allowing what ever to settle in my thinking when I should just consciously thinking of something better than the unproductive thoughts

        1
        • I think consciousness is the most important. In this case, maybe it’s some kind of “emotion meter” which if it reaches a certain number can turn on the alarm, for then we can use some tricks to bring it back to normal condition.