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Stupid stuborness

Last weekend, when my kids left, I added my sneakers and decided to try a different jogging route. I found a bike path from the city outskirts to the forest and even illuminated. It was already a bit late, the sun goes down, I didn’t plan on running for long, so I said to myself, I’ll run until the light’s lamps be there along with the road. After all, the path to nowhere cannot be illuminated to the edge of the world!

After a couple of kilometers, I get worried: at night, just a lone runner smiles under the lamps. And I started feeling scarry from my loneliness, from the wind in the dark forest, and from my promise to “run until the lights will be there.”

But it was even scarier to realize that I wouldn’t break that promise, even if I had to run until morning. Who’s that iron stubborn one in me? My husband started calling asking where I am, and to my surprise, I said that I will be home soon but continued to jog. Is it honesty, is it vanity, or is it a shame to fail? A little of everything.

And when after the 4 kilometers, the lamps were gone (apparently European funding was exhausted), I didn’t feel any relief. All the way back, I thought about how many unknown people live in us.

© Fortune, 2009

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