DocAndersen
I have a really good friend that I have talked about on Virily in the past. He studies communication. In particular, he studies online communication. His study (and I will happily share a link when it is available) is about to be published. One of the things that he has spent the last 30 years studying is online interactions. In particular, he focuses on the concept of IRL vs. Online. In the real world, people are very different. The joke my friend always tells “would you go up to Mike Tyson and tell him he is stupid?” Mike Tyson was a professional boxer for many years. He is a very large human being. The point of the statement is simply in the real world, and we tend to be a little more careful about what we say.
He, my friend, coined a phrase I use “digital rude.” The concept is quite simple. If you see someone that is 6 foot 4 (2 meters) and works out, would you tell them they were stupid? Not likely that you would do that. But that same person hidden behind a screen isn’t big anymore. It becomes ok to say anything online. All of this is information you can find on the internet (please verify the sources first) as there have been some studies talking about online vs IRW (in the real world) behaviors. The new information is the impact on children. It is interesting to note that children often struggle today by separating the virtual and the real world. Perhaps the line between the two is harder to see now than it was.
We, back in the early days of the internet used to call attacking someone flaming. You only flame the person. You don’t flame their ideas. Ideas are like butterflies. You can certainly disagree with ideas. In that case, an argument ensues. When you argue with someone it is ok to dispute the facts or suppositions they present. If you present facts and present suppositions, you aren’t going to move that argument at all. But, if they begin attacking you, not your ideas not the butterflies, but you as a person, it is different. That is what my friend has been studying for the past ten years. He has some very interesting information in his upcoming study. It will make a lot of people realize, the line between the real world and the virtual world no longer exists the way it did ten or twenty years ago.
Now, if you inflict pain in the virtual world, it is highly likely the person you have hurt will carry that into the real world.
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Question of
It is never ok to attack a person, right?
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Yes
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No
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Question of
Would you punch someone that was much bigger than you (start the fight)?
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Yes
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No
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Question of
Be kind, remember the human right?
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Yes
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No
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Question of
I hope everyone has a wonderful day today ok?
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Yes
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No
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Outside or inside virtual space, I am the same. I think it is important to remain true to your own nature wherever you are. But, yes, I agree. No one will possibly call me stupid in the physical world ? but I had been called that online, sometimes worse ?. Yet that risk comes with being online so ??♀️
i work very hard to achieve the balance of virtual and IRL. the two for me have to be the same. It makes me nervous when I am not who I am in either.
Q: It is never ok to attack a person, right?
Yes (8 votes) – 80%
No (2 votes) – 20%
Q: Would you punch someone that was much bigger than you (start the fight)?
Yes (3 votes) – 33%
No (6 votes) – 67%
Q: Be kind, remember the human right?
Yes (10 votes) – 100%
Q: I hope everyone has a wonderful day today ok?
Yes (7 votes) – 100%
Its actually easy for people to be mean online because people cannot see them or be in real contact with them. It just talks about the people they are.
I agree the line between the real and the virtual is slowly disappearing especially for kids.
i do not say anything online that I would not say in person. I agree with you. For my kids (both in college) I banned cell phones at the dinner table.
Doc there are so many new changes!
i had logged off the old Virily yesterday am, the new Virily is here now.
I am still trying to figure this out.
That’s one of the biggest problems about the internet, in my opinion. Just open a random youtube video and you will see plenty of such comments.
we have that issue on Virily as well, it makes me sad. I like conversing with my friends here.
Luckily, I think I haven’t had problems here. I just ignore the topics or people that may be problematic.
you are a good egg Ellie, now about the missing dessert posts 🙂 please 🙂
I have one in drafts, but it’s not exceptional. 😀
but all your dessert posts are amazing!!!!
I think we should all have a “basic culture” but unfortunately there are many who do not know this.
I agree with you completely. It is ok to disagree. It is ok to argue. But it is never ok to disrespect the person.
To my mind, the study of your friend is very important and highlights many important issues of our time. Agree with Carol that we live in a cruel world, so always try to find a peaceful solution to any conflict. Though, of course, any person can have such situations when it is impossible
time to fight back – to not accept the behavior of the few.
There is not enough kindness in the world. We need much more.
Have a great day with your family Doc.
I went offline yesterday – I hope you had a wonderful day Carol.
There is much to be sad about without adding to it. your point is well taken Carol!!!!
It was just another day, thanks.
I understand, that is a great way to look at it!
I’m calm and friendly and I never looked for problems in my youth and I just didn’t let myself get into me (usually drunk) then it didn’t matter, it could have been 2 meters high …. I was a lot beat as a young man i just never started a fight … i got the most angry if he went down in my girlfriend and was rude … he was no help i can believe you but it doesn’t matter how big he was
there are always situations where size isn’t relevant. you have covered one (hurting you by doing something to someone you care about).
In my youth, everything was a little … sometimes too much, my friend
i was the class clown in High School. There were many times when I, well I found out the hard way what happens.
It’s good that we are now met by heart, dear friend
My face is quite red right now. Yes, I once punched someone much bigger than myself because someone was telling horrible lies about my brother and I lost my temper. I was thirteen and he broke my nose. I am not saying it was right. It was clearly the wrong thing to do, still, my temper got the best of me and so did he. Was it worth it?
I am going to say yes because I learned a great lesson and I stood up for my brother. That doesn’t make it right, it just makes it worth it.
Can we still be friends Doc?
of course we can still be friends.
Anyone, that stands up for another person is always a good egg in my book!
You are a good egg
I am the same, whether I’m online or in real life. I don’t like hiding behind a screen and offending someone.
i do the same thing, I am the same in both worlds.
Yes, Be kind and remember every one rights really clicked me .
I am really glad you said that. I agree with you. Be kind!!!