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Heartbroken

My heart is broken. My eyes are swollen almost shut. He asked me for permission to die. Today they found that two of the valves in his heart are leaking. It would be a major surgery and maybe two and he doesn’t want to do it. He just wants to die, now. I am not okay. I will never be okay. I want to go when he goes. I don’t want to be here without him. I have never felt so hopeless in my life. So many emotions and nowhere to express the pain and worry. Nothing I can do or say. 

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Written by Ghostwriter

22 Comments

  1. So very sorry. I do know how it feels. Helpless. Nothing anyone can do, you have to feel these emotions. It will get better but will take some time. Keep talking, that is what helped get me through. And never be afraid to cry.

    • I admire your strength and your willingness to share with others. I will never have to suffer losing a child. I can’t imagine the pain you carry and still you help, love and share with others. You are on my list of heroes.

  2. This is a traumatic time for you. I know only too well that when these things happen we cant save any more than fly to the moon.
    One of my sisters also has 2 heart valve replacements..She lives on borrowed time.

      • My prayers and thoughts are with you as I know when people are not well it is as it is…
        Sickness is like that be it cancer, heart or whatever disease. I have often felt helpless when someone died…
        Yet we are all human and you are not alone..

  3. I understand your pain. Letting go is not what we are taught. We are taught to rage aginst the passing of the light. We are taught to fight until the end.

    I am so sorry.

    You are not alone.

  4. I saw a video on facebook about a man who was in hospice, but because a nurse sang with him, it gave him so much joy and hope that he recovered, and went home, and left hospice. Show him a positive face, and hope through your eyes.

  5. Facebook has a 24 hour prayer room, and people can post prayers, and I have seen miracles happen. Have faith and pray, and then do not worry, God will help you if you ask him.

  6. I am so sorry, it is a difficult time for you. Take courage and be his strength when he needs you the most. Sending prayers your way.

  7. I hope you’re okay. Just know that life’s like a roller coaster, sometimes you go up and sometimes you go down. I’m sure you will get yourself back on the rail in the future. Stay strong!