Albert Herdianto Widjojo
Lately, many people post funny videos on social media and messaging applications on various issues during the current pandemic, and one of them is about how people who are lonely and feel bored spend time.
Unlike you who can respond to the necessity to stay at home with a variety of positive activities and enjoy them, many people experience difficulties in this regard. Loneliness, either in the sense of being completely alone or isolated together with friends, partners, or family, seems to be really a kind of torture. Indeed it is rather strange nowadays given that in the era of the internet and social media where people have tended to or are accustomed to being alone even in a crowd, in a group, with friends or even family, everyone is absorbed in their respective gadgets. Strangely, when the movement is restricted so the place to “be alone” most of the time is only at home this situation then becomes a problem. Of course, this proves that humans are social creatures who need others, so even though millennials tend to be alone, their existence with other people or society is still a necessity.
That is different from Ascetics (asceticism practitioners), whether they are monks, real hermits, recluse, retreatant, solitaire or just ordinary people who deliberately abstain from sensual pleasures for realizing spiritual purposes, both with relatively mild behavior as part of natural asceticism to those who carry out unnatural asceticism, which puts the intention of being alone as the initial and fundamental step. The aim of the ascetics could be to obtain penance, spiritual glory, or to know and realize a higher self. These intentions are done consciously “while alive” because just like us, they realize that whatever lives will die, they know very well the meaning of M sketches in their palms which in old Latin culture is called memento mori.
Of course, we are generally not ascetic, so if we are required to be alone, it is a problem even though like them, we also know that one day we too will die. Maybe, belief in God or not, have full faith or not, believe in life after death or not, when we are laid off like we are today, we have a good chance to get to know ourselves better, question why we are here on earth, for what purpose, what is our mission, etc. as we go through this “misery” (which ascetics deliberately do and seek), at a time when many aspects of the material in life are less useful.
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Have you ever done an activity that uses the current situation on purpose to at least better understand yourself?
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Yes
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No
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For some, this situation is really difficult. Families are not accustomed to “living” together for so long at this pace of life. I do not mind this condition. I can only say that I miss some coffee to drink at a cafe.
Yes, dear friend, we all miss the chance to hang out. In my place, all restaurant chairs that were originally dining chairs have become queue chairs for online shoppers using online transportation application services.
I don’t like it when there are many people in one place. I prefer quiet places. One where I can focus and take pictures. I am not upset by the situation, I am a person who loves home comfort. I know that life will change afterwards, but we are powerless in the face of the challenges posed by nature.
I suspect you are an introvert like me, and some other friends here. If my guess is right, then I can understand why you are not upset by the situation and can even accept and understand the times when human powerlessness faces the challenge posed by nature. I must be grateful that my good friend can calm down in the current situation.
I for one am a very reclusive being. I feel awkward in a place full of people. Parties are torture, I will make an appearance, but always the first to bow out and leave. I had to click no, just because I feel I have learned nothing new about being alone. Five years ago, I packed up the RV, and moved to my desert property, it is away from everything. I lived there for a whole year off the grid. Solar provided my electric, and I hauled water from the spring to where the RV sits. I did have a cell phone which helped. I can honestly say I learned more about myself in that year than I did at any other time in my life. It was wonderful to just unplug…
I know a lot of people are suffering right now, some due to loneliness, other’s the lack of money, while still worried that this might take a loved one. All the mixed messages and views on this virus and the uncertainty of what will come has me worried, but not depressed or lonely.
You are the second introvert who wrote about how loneliness is your best friend.
Yes, many things make people worry or anxious at this time, Kim. There are many things that everyone has to think about now and later after this pandemic is over but you surely know that stress or depression can’t help at all. Maybe this is your part to motivate others to stay calm and be able to find a way out.
It can be, yes. The people in the north and mid west here in the states and in Canada are also equipped to handle this segment of Corona virus. They coined the term Cabin Fever.
The most important thing to do is start a new routine, stay busy, take time out to have fun, don’t watch the news all day. Unplug, go outside, sit and just breath. Take up a new craft even. Thank you Albert.
Thank you for your information, Kim. Many people must be withdrawn from double prisons, outside and inside, lockdown from the outside – boredom, and stress from the mind.
“Scratch scratch… Did you have to mention itching? 🤦♀️👀”
Is that a taboo word or is it not worth saying Kim? I need to know about that. Different cultural; different etiquette, right? I ever had a discussion about something like that with Doc, about hahaha, hehehe and lol…
I just got over a bad case of scabies. There is an outbreak here. I got them from the hospital just before we went into lockdown.
Oh… A scabies case of a cat? What a pity.
It is a little microscopic mite that can effect humans. Cats and dogs get a mite called sarcoptic mange mite. It is in the same family as our scabies. Scabies cannot live on dogs or cats, but mange can infect both human or animal.
ah it is the box question.
Do we in binding ourselves to specifics, live in the box? Or do we still, open the box and let the world flow in?
That is an important part of this writing, Doc in an itchy vulgar analogy.
itchy as you know is my specialty – not bad for you, just annoying enough that you have to do something about it!
I think itching is the most delicious disease, you have to scratch it to make it disappear, then you have to keep scratching if the itching doesn’t go away, again and again…
Scratch scratch… Did you have to mention itching? 🤦♀️👀
The fact of life is that we can’t live by ourselves for a long period of time even if one is an introvert. I’m usually and indoor person.
The internet can’t erase loneliness since we’re social advanced animals even though the social norm differs.
I agree this is a time to be reflective. I’m reflecting on a lot of things including getting closer to God and planning what to do and not to do, and what needs to be changed or improved.
Yes, as we all know, we are social beings who cannot live alone for too long.
To be honest, I was previously intrigued by those who are introverted (including you and me) about what they think and do at a time like this, and you have represented that character here. Thanks.
You’re welcome. Now, I know you’re an introvert.
Don’t I dread parties and frequent traveling.
It’s difficult for many people to stay indoor.
Yes, I am an introvert who has tied an iron bar to my back to stay upright in a crowd even though my face still feels warm reddish.
Maybe it’s time for you to share how to enjoy solitude.
A good idea as always. Now, I have two ideas from you – a book and a post about solitude.
Why not? It must be useful for others too. About ideas, who knows my fingers will write other ideas for you next time if you don’t mind.
I won’t mind because I’m always faced with writer’s block.
I have no trouble having to stay inside, its more than a month now since I stepped out of my house. My garden and books even if the internet isn’t there would be enough I guess.
That’s what’s special about you, being able to enjoy something that most people don’t like.
People are already doing it but when it is imposed then they feel they are alone. You have explained it well.
I think that’s a funny thing about us as humans.
Thanks for your appreciation, Grace.
Very well said Albert. Many are experiencing depression, unfortunately and suicidal thoughts. I have talked to many on the phone that are desperate and talked them though another day. Being isolated is very hard on many. I enjoy time alone and always learn things about myself during these times. And when I can help others, of course that helps me… for another day.
Thank you so much, carol.
For people like you who have become accustomed to enjoying time alone, that experience is very useful at times like this, especially if it can be used to help others. Yes, I also receive many such calls, and that is one of the reasons why I wrote this post.
I thought you had been helping others, that is what you seem to do best. You have always been, and still are, such an inspiration. Take care.
In this case, we are on the same page, even I am sure you have done more! That’s what you are for, Carol.