Today is the discussion, the beginnings of an ultimately the ends of a transition. Transitions, or sometimes as they called life change or life events, occurs for all parents. There comes a time when what once was is again. The funny thing about a parent is that you find that person, you build a relationship. Sometimes you begin to realize you want or don’t want children. It doesn’t matter that you do or don’t want children. You have a partner. It is what you do together. But, if you choose the path we choose, you will have children. We intended two but ended up with three. The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry as the poet Bobby Burns told us.
Things change, your children get older. Dependent on you in the beginning. You do everything for them, feeding, dressing, soothing, and then suddenly, you hear the glorious words. Sometimes it is a simple “No!” A little toddler’s fist was shaking in the air. Why the little handshaking we do not know, but it is a part of what happens. Or you hear the other phrase, “I can do it myself.” Those two denote the time of separation. It doesn’t take children a week or a day to separate. Oh no, they are still dependent on mom and dad, or mom or dad. They still need us for many more years. But now the separation begins. Now is the time that they begin to pull away.
They are leaving us to the pictures today. The person with I started all of this now nearly 30 years ago, is still there. We went off to Maine in the fall of 2019. Just the two of us. We did the things that we used to do when we were dating — walking around the city of Portland, Maine. Being pals, friends, partners as we used to be all those years ago. You, the transition now, is nearly complete. Our children now have lives of their own. They do things separate from us, and we are now Automated Teller Machines (ATM) or more simply banks. Now, we start our planning of trips without children. Without the kids being a part of the plans, and later even the trip, it is back to the beginning, back to the partners!
The transition is nearly complete.