Wander old pictures of my wife’s family, and the twins when they were little. Parents of multiples (twins and more) change a lot of things in their lives. One of the things we decided early on in the process was to treat each of the twins like they were individuals, which they are. We weren’t going to dress them in the same clothes or get the same haircuts and so on. They are unique to each of them. But you do have to parent differently. I don’t know what we would have done without our daughter. She would sit and feed the twins, take care of them and still to this day does. She was involved in their lives as an important contributor to who they are as people.
The role of the sister, or brother is often forgotten. I know my sisters were a great help to me as I grew up. I probably don’t tell either of them that information enough! I know the twins appreciate the things their sister did and does for them. When we first moved to Maryland the twins couldn’t yet drive; they were not old enough. Their sister took them everywhere. The big sister took them to Doctors appointments, dentist appointments, eye appointments, all without complaining. Parents of multiples have to change. The world is configured for a single baby. Having twins is hard. I cannot imagine the sheer chaos of Triplets, quads or more kids at one time. The reality of twins was more than enough for me!
Add to that my mother’s curse. “Someday you are going to have children that act as you do.” I did mom. You just didn’t warn me that two of me at once meant a lot more fast movement from parents. The problem was they were like me. They didn’t run in one direction side by side terrorizing the neighborhood. They often ran in opposite directions. You have had two hands, two arms so grabbing twins should be pretty straight forward. It isn’t; they would as my grandfather used to say “dash madly off in all directions.” You had to grab one and chase the other. The maniacal laughter of the escaping twin was the only advantage the parent had. You can follow the direction of laughter. Its when they learned to run silent, run deep that it was impossible to catch them both!