DocAndersen
Swimming was for 11 years a huge part of our summers. It isn’t now, we have a neighborhood pool, but during the entire summer last year not a single member of our family went there. Life is, after all, a journey. When the kids were young having the pool was critical. As they got older, the pool wasn’t their first choice for an afternoon anymore. No matter what parents feel, sometimes you just have to let go. That is a really hard thing, but one that is a have to do. Funny how you realize that later in parenting. I guess you have to understand the people that are the children to see what is critical for them. Every child is unique, some children you have to change how you interact with them constantly. The thing about twins is always divided and conquer not that it is the parents doing that, but the twins doing that.
Running or dashing off in all directions (dashing madly off in all directions) was something my grandfather used to say all the time. It was also the reality of twins when they were young. We had three people watching, guiding and helping most of the time. But even then, that was not always enough. It is funny when you look back at the conversations now versus then. Like five-year-olds we had different conversations with our children than we do now. It was funny sometimes to listen on digital video the sound of the kids years ago. Things were different in Cincinnati than in Greenwood. Things changed in Greenwood as the kids got older. It becomes an interesting point of memory.
Children grow and change. Adults change with them, but less than the children do. As I wrote the other day, it is so much easier to remember that it is to forgive. There are so many painful memories from childhood that just need perspective. The reality of perception is the limiter when it comes to memories. Children remember the anger of their parents when they were little. It is the answer they apply later, even though they are the same size as their parents or bigger. The explosion of parental anger is scary when you are little. Spanking of a child that is two or three is horrible. It is more than aggression by the parent. It is an attempt to create a dominating relationship forever. Slapping a child later is bad, but if the child is the same size as the adult, it is different than the cruelty of spanking that child when they are two or three. Fear is always a bad thing.
Parenting is a tough job!
I miss swimming, I wish I had a pool. I`m not a parent but raised a few, I did not have to spank often, I just gave them the look and that was enough.
We agreed early on that we would never spank young children. It was, we felt, a form of bullying.