DocAndersen
One of the things I need to share from time to time is the reality of communication. I share the communications patterns and anti-patterns on the various blogs I write for. I am, have and continue to learn and improve my communication. I am nowhere near perfect. I wish I were, but I know that being perfect is difficult to attain and not realistic as a goal. I do however have and live by some simple rules.
- It is always ok to argue. If you disagree with me, I am happy to have the discussion. If however, we are unable to reach a consensus, it doesn’t mean I am disrespectful; it just means that we disagree.
- There are rules when you communicate online. Who is responsible for the rules? Everyone. It isn’t site owners, blog owners or the police that are responsible for enforcing the rules. If there are people that break the rules, everyone should work to enforce the rules. Rules help create fair, which is hard to do without rules.
- The most important lesson I’ve learned and rule I apply is way out with dignity. Rule 1, its ok to argue, rule two rules are important. Rule 3 is giving someone a way out of the situation without them feeling like they were at risk.
Look communication is painful. It is a situation that requires both understanding the other person’s position but also, standing for what you believe in. It is so hard to continue conversations sometimes when people don’t believe rules are critical when they don’t give you away out of the situation with dignity.
The three rules I’ve shared are stacked one upon the other. You can’t apply one and skip two (well I can’t). The reality for me is the three rules shared work together. They are how I communicate online and ultimately how I communicate as a person.
Sometimes it is important to remember there are no guaranteed right answers, but it is ok to defense the answer you believe is right!
not everyone will agree with someone on things that’s just a norm in life
some just like to start a fuss when they really don’t need to about things
some like to lead others on to see what the reaction they get from it is
so in my book you just go with the flow & see where it takes you in life.
I agree, although at times that is very hard to do (to just let go). Arguments and communication are sometimes hard to separate.
I’m one that don’t like to argue if I can HELP it at all cost.
I can understand that. I do, argue with people on occasion, and I remind myself don’t do it again.
arguing with a person don’t get you anywhere but
stress you out & the less stress you have in your life
the more peaceful your life will be do you agree?
I’m not someone who loves an argument but when I know I’m right, I always try to defend that.
You should defend! I completely agree if you think you are right don’t bakc down. But do allow for hte fact that the other person may also think they are right.
Definitely but I don’t argue on things when I know I’m not right at all. I usually argue with basis like facts and the laws and jurisprudence to back me up.
That is a wise course of action! There are many people online whose connection to facts, is well not there.
Unfortunately and they would still insist on what they think is right though it has no basis at all.
Great post and photo, thank you for sharing!
A dialog requires at least two parties; if only one side can speak then it becomes a monologue…
This is true. I would even say that if one side doesn’t listen it also a monologue! Thanks for the thought Alex!!!
You’re always welcome, my good man…
Absolutely agree with you Doc. I have agreed to disagree many times in my life! 🙂
It is truly ok to end up agreeing to disagree! If that happens you just move on. The problem is sometimes the other person won’t let go of the actual disagreement.
Yep you are right, move on and let it slide. Life is too short not to let things go.
That is a great tag line “Move on and let it slide.”
I have learned many of those lines in life Doc.
The communication we do every day indeed but still communication is not that easy to do, let alone to communicate effectively, even though it is face to face. Even romantic couples can split up because of communication problems, not because of a certain character or behaviour. So I can really understand how difficult it is to communicate, let alone discuss, or even more to argue, online with all the obstacles and limitations that extend the list of communication constraints. Therefore, rules are very important for reference, as well as mechanisms to keep all parties on a path facilitated by rules by all parties collectively.
I do also know that for those who lived before the internet, we had different rules in the world before everything was shared. It is so important to make sure you don’t close a door just because it opens a different direction than you expect.
You have explained your point well, Coach. Remind me if I close the door because that sort of thing is here.
Thanks Albert. I would ask the same of you, let me know if I close a door I should have left open!
Thanks for the great post……
Thanks! Compliments are always useful!
What a great outlook. I don’t use that much here, as very few actually attempt to communicate. That works too. Thanks for the great post.
Thanks! I am trying to help many people see the value in better communications.