Most people in long-term relationships stay together because they, of course, love each other, but essentially, the end goal is the hope of their relationship transitioning to marriage. Marriage is oftentimes thought of like the last stage of a relationship… the “happily ever after” part of the relationship and for a lot of couples, it is… but don’t be fooled by the smiling faces and “happy” family photos you see on Facebook. ALL marriages have their fair share of marital issues and challenges.
The key thing about these marital challenges and issues is if that couple can work through them. Couples tend to sweep certain issues under the rug when they really need to be worked out. Psychology Today discusses an 8-step rescue plan on how to fix your marriage problems instead of ignoring them.
Time Magazine reports that the U.S. divorce rate has actually been on a downward spiral, dropping 18% from 2008-2016… why do you think that is? It’s because couples have been working through their marital problems instead of ignoring them. You have to think about it like this: you took vows saying “I do”… don’t let issues build up to the point of “I can’t anymore.”
“Nip It in the Bud” Before It’s Too Late
The future of marriages depend solely on how couples can work through their issues, right? Yes. Some of these issues can definitely be worked through with dedication and compromise but some of these issues can threaten some of the happiest of couples leaving their marriage on the brink of divorce. Take a look at some of the most common marriage threatening issues couples face.
Financial Disputes
When couples unite as one, it’s not uncommon for their bank accounts to join together as one as well. That’s not always the case but a lot of couples do have a joint account and have financial issues associated with it.
Although you are one, as a couple, you both are still individual people and most of the times, have different spending habits. One thing to take note of is that disputes about money are typically directly linked to personal values and habits.
For example, if one spouse is always stressed about money, that spouse might be more irritable and impatient just in general. They may even nit-pick and start arguments about things not even related to money. To prevent this issue from happening, or to at least lessen the frequency of it, make sure you and your spouse have discussions about finances and create a budget together to make sure you both are on the same page.
Lack of Trust: Cheating/Lying
Trust is the foundation of love and without it, the marriage couldn’t even be in existence. When a spouse lies or cheats, it can drastically hurt the marriage, especially if the cheating happens more than once. To put that trust back in the marriage can take a very long time but if both spouses are committed to fixing the issue and moving past it together, the marriage will have a shot of getting back to a happy place.
Losing Your Temper
It’s completely normal for couples to get mad at each other… it’s even normal for couples to get angry with each other from time to time but when that anger turns into an explosion, that’s when the marriage can take a turn for the worst. When these tempers flare often is also a red flag. You have to learn each other’s “hot buttons” and try not to press them; and talk to each other, not at each other.
Being Too Selfish
It’s okay to be a little selfish but when you got married, you signed up for “what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine.” When one spouse consistently places their own needs before their spouse’s, it’ll be no time before the other spouse starts to experience feelings of neglect. Selfishness can take many forms but at it’s worst, it can be controlling and manipulative.
Once It’s Too Late…
As mentioned earlier, these marital issues are common and they can and have been worked out by many couples but if they’re not tended to in the moment, it can wreak havoc on your marriage. Once these issues have led your marriage to an irreversible state, that’s when it’s time to change your situation.
It’s not going to be one of the easiest things for you to do but sometimes the only way to save the relationship is to end the marriage. It strange how things work… some people have better relationships with each other after ending their marriage but each situation is different. Just know that if your marriage has come to an end, that doesn’t mean that it’s the end of the world. You have to look at it like it’s an ending to a fresh, new beginning!
