It starts when I did a Search of a particular minor actor, who had caught my attention. It led to a fan board made up of pathetic losers who worshipped him.
It was a tragic comedy; a nothing actor, worshipped by middle aged women with no life, and he couldn’t even be nice.
The reason I mention this is because I used his name to open a Spam Box.
I had joined one of those questionable writing sites, needed to give an email address, so……
I’d been using the Spam Box a couple of months when I got an email from one of the fans thinking she was writing to Actor.
At first I was going to delete, then I was going to admit, but then… reading the need in that writer, I pretended.
She thought she was writing to Actor, so I played Actor. It made her so happy. Every day she wrote, and every day I answered.
Then another woman arrived, just like the first. A lonely sad woman who thought she had the chance, the once in a lifetime chance, to communicate with her idol.
This one, over the course of a few posts, admitted she had a fatal disease, and my emails, correction, Actor’s emails, were the light in her tunnel.
I kept thinking to myself; tell her/don’t tell her, stop writing/keep writing, I didn’t know the ‘right’ in my wrong, so kept writing until her emails stopped.
The emails stopped, the woman was dead.
The first woman, she kept writing, I kept responding. I kept going. because, maybe, for her, as for the other I was the ‘only light in her tunnel’.