So with the changes in Virily I was wandering around and ran into many, many, many posts that were so horrible no ever bothered to comment. It made me very sad. I can’t believe I spent so much time on many unseen and uncommented posts. Did I stay here just out of pure stubbornness?
I have made a few friends here, but going back through I see not very many. I can’t say that it feels like I ever really belonged. I am certainly feeling very insecure. My job, my relationships, my mental health, and my physical health all seem to be deteriorating at the same time. It kind of feels like I am rolling down a neverending mountain made of very sharp boulders. Yes, that is exactly the feeling I am getting.
There is absolutely no blame here. I take full responsibility. I just need to figure out where I am and if I belong. Often times I wonder if I belong anywhere. Maybe I am meant to be a lone wolf. Perhaps I have felt that way since my mother died.