in

Love ItLove It

Our Last Song Together

Another summer brings all kinds of memories and unfortunately with them anxiety. I am one of those that is an anxiety/panic attack survivor. Unfortunately, the nerves never get normal and I have always had to fight against anxiety.

Came the Fourth of July weekend and I was lost in all kinds of memories. The photo is the last selfie we took of ourselves at the Fourth of July picnic thrown by the U.S. Embassy in Riga, Latvia in 2017. We got to celebrate his birthday on July 19th and on August 17th he died. This is the third year coming up.

Suddenly out of nowhere anxiety overtook me and I am now fighting against it as best as I can. I am taking Valerian root drops three times a day, walking about my apartment, talking to myself, and doing everything I can to rid myself of the anxiety. It is not easy. At times I find it difficult to swallow and at other times I am more relaxed. My biggest relief was being able to eat a boiled potato with salted butter. It even tasted good and for that, I thanked the Lord that at least I seem to be progressing. It is so darn hard to go through something like this when you’re all alone.

I was reminded of a lovely and sad song by Neil Sedaka “Our Last Song Together”

Report

What do you think?

8 Comments

Leave a Reply
  1. I am really sorry to read how you feel, Rasma. When you are alone it is so much harder to battle anxiety. Deep loss takes a long time to learn to deal with, and longer still to make any kind of recovery from. Thinking of you 🙂

    1

Leave a Reply