I am lost again. I know where I am physically and I don’t know where my heart is. This morning about 2:00 am my brother came into the bedroom to ask if he had a physical therapy appointment today. I wanted to say “What makes you think it’s okay to come in here and wake me up to ask?” I was angry and tired. I said, “Yes, I believe it is at 2:30 this afternoon. You could call them after 9:00 am and confirm.” I think I was pretty gruff.
Then I laid there in the bed listening to my husband snore and thought about it all. He doesn’t have anyone else to ask but us. He doesn’t sleep often and probably doesn’t understand that he often keeps us awake and wakes us up. He worries and then he has to talk. It’s not his fault and I need to learn to accept and adjust. I just have not got it all together. I am tired of every struggle. I am tired of burying the people I love.