Jonathan Finch
(An Incredible Discourse With Photographic Evidence To Prove The Point)
Do You Think Dustmen Are Big Babies?
I’ll tell you my answer first. YES!
Now, follow my line of reasoning and I think by the end I will have convinced you, too, that dustmen are big babies even if you’re married to the biggest, burliest, dirtiest waste-remover ever!
Alice is a Thai baby. She is one and a half. Can’t get much more babyish than that. Across the road from me is a German with three dogs. On the loose those dogs make for my dustbin where Alice’s used pampers rest. Those dogs get the pampers out, give them a good snuffle, open them up in the middle of the road and do indescribable things to them that even this old stalwart of words can’t bring himself to describe.
For four days now, those ravaged pampers have rested in my moo, that’s the Thai equivalent of miniscule street. No one gives a toss. Least of all the German. But Alice does. She gives a big toss. Every time I liberate her on to our little moo she heads for those nappies as if her life rested on getting there as fast as lightning. When there she prods them with her hands and crouches down to inspect THEM nose to “nose”. If I don’t give her time she still pushes them about with her shod or unshod foot.
Conclusions:
1) Babies like dirt. Therefore, dustmen are big babies because you see them rummaging in dirt, too.
2) Dogs like dirt. Therefore, dogs are babies or dustmen.
3) Maybe my logic is not watertight.
4) Maybe Alice will grow up to be a dustwoman. (Heaven forbid.)
