This is me, Douglas Haversham. Being me. Not the me I portrayed when Zennie and I divorced. The me I always was before we married.
I believed I loved Zennie above and beyond and forever, but that wasn’t true. Not really. I loved her at various points during the years of our marriage.
I had convinced myself that I loved her, that she was the only woman I ever loved, during the decade that followed.
But to stand here and consider whether or not I should leave the monitor and walk the hall to face her, meant, I didn’t love her, never loved her. Not like that.
For me to stand and debate with myself as if it were some dialectic, meant I never loved her.
The realisation was as powerful as if I’d stepped into another dimension.