‘When analysing an abusive situation, one must park logic and real benefits gained by the perpetrator. Do not dismiss actions because there is no ‘benefit’.
The ‘benefit’ an Abuser gains is to abuse the victim. How much money he loses, time he wastes, possibilities he destroys does not matter. What is important to an Abuser is to feel they are suppressing the victim.
The Abuser does not think in logical benefits;
An Abuser needs to exercise his power. He needs to abuse someone. Hence he will do whatever it takes to gain his victim.
Tommy invited his mother to his house, made her uncomfortable and she left. He felt good about this.
It was ten years later he invited again, and again made her feel unwelcome.
Ten years later he requested she phone him, not to talk, but with the intention to keep her on the phone until she ran out of credit.
The point of exercising control is paramount.