To survive abuse is not just escape, it is an analysis of who and what and where and when.
Most abusers are easy to read once you know the ‘language’, which is why, when you escape the Abuse you need to decipher the ‘language’.
Many abusers strive to provoke you so that you say something to which they can retaliate.
Many abusers put you into an impossible situation. Any action must be wrong.
When you refuse to be provoked, when you refuse to lose your temper, when you ignore all the digs and attacks, they are left in the position of impotence.
How can they ‘retaliate’ if you have done nothing?
This is one of the most crucial bits of knowledge a Victim gains. That where one refuses to respond, refuses to be provoked, allows the words or actions to pass without notice, the Abuser ‘loses’.