It’s a simple request. It would not be hard to do, just for 24 hours. Just for one day. Today my brother told me that he knows I will spend my first Christmas without him this year. Tears rolled down his face and he apologized that he can’t be here to help me deal with all the changes and what will happen when he dies. He says he knows that his time is drawing near and his biggest concern is me. This leaves me hollow, scared and hurting. So please just for one day please honor a simple request. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. If you don’t understand grief, you are probably very lucky and have not lost people you love.
Somehow I need to stop the tears, but on a brave face and really believe, so he will believe that I will be okay. He is in so much pain and all the surgeries in the world won’t take that away. It is so selfish to want him here and I really have no idea if I will make it without him. He knows that too. After he said what he thought he needed to say, he just cried. He still just crying. (I assume the anger will kick in next.)
My Mom died a slow and painful death. She only weighed 40 pounds when she died. My sister took her own life because of bullies and feeling invisible. My brother in law went in for a simple operation and got a superinfection in the hospital after fighting 3 long months there he died during this same joyful holiday season.
I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know if I am strong enough. I don’t even know where to begin.
So please, if you can’t say something kind, just don’t say anything. Stop talking about me like I have no feelings and no heart. If you can’t help me through this, please don’t make my life any harder. Please stop putting me in positions where I have to defend my beliefs. Talk about how great your life is and how wonderful it is. Be a light of hope. Just give me the break and support that I need for the next 24 hours, please.
I have never felt so alone and so scared. I have no answers.
You are most loved and thought of. God bless you with peace and comfort in every moment of sorrow.
I am very sorry to hear that you are undergoing another challenge in your life. You are right that life is sometimes too hard to deal with and you don’t know if you can hurdle this challenge. All we can do is to pray.
The most important is love between you and your son.
It must have been difficult…
As you’ve mentioned, he is in pain, he will be free finally from all that sufferings and go to a better place … you’ll reunion some time later, he just gets there first …
Finally, you’re strong, very strong .. I know you can survive this …
because he wants you to … that’s why he prepares you ahead …
I don’t know what else I can do or say to help.
Take care!
Sadly there are no magical answers. I still search and they are just not there. Life is hard. We love, we lose and we hurt. All I can say is spend as much time with him as possible. Cry. And then cry some more. Tears are therapeutic.
Those are some of the things I have learned along the way. Remember I am here for you any time.
I’m so sorry to hear this, Ghost. You know you have so much support from people here on Virily. You are very much a part of the community here. I shall pray for you my dear friend.
It is a difficult time for you, sending prayers and positive thoughts to you at this time. ( (( hugs)))
You mean so much to our community, so much to me personally. I am proud of being involved in your life.
You are someone that I rely on and count on every day. There are many who do as well.
I agree with gramps ……
You are not alone. There are others who care.
I pray for your brother. At Christmas, miracles happen. Maybe one is for him and everything will be fine! I’m sorry you don’t feel well.