The legal dissolution of a marriage is a huge step and must not be taken without thinking about all aspects carefully. Making the decision in haste can cause irreparable damage to your emotional as well as financial well-being. Sometimes taking time off from the relationship for a brief period can also bring your marriage back on track. For most couples, there is always a choice between separation and divorce and they must weigh all options before taking the final step.
A housewife in Florida was exhausted and fed up with her daily routine of 15 years of marriage and wanted to end the relationship. Her best friend cajoled her into meeting an experienced Stuart fl divorce lawyer. The professional asked the lady some probing questions and by the end of the meeting, she realized that the reason she wanted to break off her marriage was personal frustration. She discussed things with her husband who after feeling hurt initially, understood her problem and asked her to take a long solo vacation. He assured her that he will take care of the kids and all household duties while she was away. When the woman returned from the trip, she felt rejuvenated and her bond with her husband had grown stronger. In case, you are caught in a similar dilemma, you can use the following tips to identify the best course of action.
1. Try To Identify The Reasons For Your Feeling
Once the thought of ending the relationship enters your head, look inward and try to identify the reasons for your thinking. Are there issues that can not be reconciled or is there still some hope left? Are you staying in the marriage only because you do not want to create an unpleasant situation for your children by divorcing their other parent? These are important questions that need to be answered. Remember you need to find out why you are unhappy with things. Try to look at specific factors like the communication between you and your partner. Is there a problem with your spouse’s behavior like uncontrollable anger or substance addiction that is making you think this way? Think everything through to pinpoint the reasons for separation.
2. Assess Your Financial Situation
An important factor to consider before taking the final step is your financial condition. Can you sustain yourself independently? In case, you get custody of your children, then you will have to shoulder their responsibility largely by yourself. Even if your ex-spouse pays child support, will you be able to take care of your liabilities? These are important practical questions that you need to answer. In case, you are not financially strong and things can be sorted after a brief separation, then you must consider the option seriously. The choice between separation and divorce is present in most marriages and couples must think about it before making a decision.
3. Prepare A Set Of Questions To Ask Your Spouse
Once you have thought about all aspects of your problem, it is time to talk to your spouse. However, you must not immediately confront your partner with the issue. Take some time and prepare a set of questions to ask your spouse. Include your concerns and queries related to things that you feel that have not been done by the other person. Ask your spouse whether he/ she is ready to set things right or not. The answer will help you realize the true state of the other person’s feelings for you. This will also be helpful in understanding whether the relationship can be saved or not.
4. Have A Discussion With Your Spouse
Do not surprise your partner by breaking the news that you are considering separation. Prepare the other individual by telling him/ her that you want to discuss something important. Choose a quiet place to have a discussion and explain your feelings in a calm manner. If the other person had no inkling of your thoughts, then he/ she may be stunned. Be prepared for an angry or hurt reaction. It is common for couples to disagree when they first start to discuss such issues. Remember you will not resolve everything in the first meeting. Gauge your partner’s reaction to understand whether he/ she is interested in salvaging the relationship or not. This is the point where you can discuss temporary or permanent separation.
5. Consult A Professional
In case, both of you are having problems in reaching a conclusion, you must consult a professional. You can go to a marriage counselor to get advice. These professionals will help both partners in understanding their feelings. Discussing things with counselors will help you reach a solution and identify whether a divorce or a temporary separation is required.
Every marriage goes through troubled times but the decision to end a relationship needs to be taken with great care. In most cases, there is a choice between separation and divorce and people must consider both options before making the final selection.