Slowly

(Photos courtesy of Hip Latina…..)

I have been looking for love, for so long.  I was looking in all the wrong places.  It’s true what they say, love shows up when you least expect it.  It was especially true for me, since at the time, I wasn’t even looking for it.  At the time I was still in love with a woman–who didn’t deserve me.  I recently ran into her, or should I say, she ran into me.  I don’t know how she figured out I would be on that street at that time, but she did.

It shocked me.  She is still hung up on me.  That is a shame.  I don’t feel the same.  My past is just that, past.  I don’t live my life looking back at people who couldn’t love me.  It took me so long to realize what love truly was.  It took me so long to get  here.  I won’t go back for no one.

Nothing will change my mind.  What I have learned is permanent, and I can’t un-learn it.  I don’t want to.  I was always giving, and they were always taking.  They all took advantage of me.  Whatever made them think I would run back?  They need to leave me alone, and stop stalking me.

I didn’t know back then, that I didn’t know what love was.  I really didn’t.  You can’t do better, until you know better.  Once you do know better, it is your responsibility to do better; after all, that is what an adult does.  Being grown isn’t about working, and paying the bills until you die.

Being an adult means knowing your worth, and knowing who is worthy of you.  It means knowing who you are, and chasing your dreams.  It has nothing to do with settling for less.  It has nothing to do with denying who you are just to, “fit in.”

I found my love.  He showed me from the very beginning how much he cared.  All he had to do was be there for me.  That is all he did.  Just in that, he did more for me, than anyone else ever did.  That was when I learned the difference between loving someone, getting taken advantage of, and being loved.  Being loved was the last thing I had to learn, at the end of my rainbow.