jaylar
A normal person, requiring assistance, enables the person from whom he requests, to have access to all information.
That is because a normal person requests assistance because they want assistance.
An Abuser needs to feel superior. He will use any and all possible methods.
The ‘request’ for assistance is not to gain assistance, it is to make the person who assists, fail.
In the example, the purpose of Don’s request was not reinstatement, was not gaining funds withheld, the point was not to reopen his case.
The point of it all, was to demean Lynn. To make her fail. To allow him to snort; “Lynn is a lousy lawyer.”
This is why Abusers are so successful.
One can not fathom how anyone could perform this way. It makes ‘no sense’. Unless one understands the mentality of an Abuser.
Don wanted to hurt Lynn. She lived far away. She wasn’t his wife, girlfriend, anything. The relationship they had was via email.
Somehow, recalling she was a lawyer, and he was nothing, he searched for something to use as a leash, and recalled his old case.
He imagined Lynn would spend hours, days of her life, searching for cases, creating a brief, as if she would accept the challenge.
As Lynn knows Don as an Abuser, which overrides every other aspect of his life, she knew instantly this was a trick. This was a ‘mind game’. She didn’t play.
Oh my, having lived through it all and everyone getting the help they need and surviving – I need to be quiet.
No you don’t. Because those who have never been exposed to it before become victims. If people could be warned so that when it starts it ends… that would be a blessing.
I have known such people and I distance myself.
The point is that many people don’t know the signs of an abuser. It is not until after that they realise it. I’m trying to alert them before.