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I’m Losing My Drive

It’s a slow drain, but I feel it…sucking my drive to be successful and you know, actually make some money, to do the work that needs to be done, away. I know it is somewhat the depression’s fault, but that can’t be the whole story. I do possibly suffer from both SAD and Reverse SAD – which makes me sad, cause I love the summer months, especially as they are pretty short up here in Maine. But I just don’t want to do anything.

I’m still pushing forward, as much as possible – but my actual drive is gone. I want to get things done, but everything in me wants to avoid it if possible. I end up spending my days all over the place, highly distracted, irritable and completely stressed out. And my time management is nearly non-existent at the moment. I’m still getting things done, but they are mostly minor tasks, not the big ones that may get me where I want to go…kind of like writing this post.

I don’t dislike Virily or anything, but this site probably won’t get me to my income goal. But it is still a fun place to make a little bit of money now and again. Virily isn’t going to get me where I want, but it allows me to feel as though I’ve accomplished something – while I ignore the big projects on my to-do list. My self-discipline is total shit right now, and I have zero motivation. I really need to work on the self-discipline part of things, though I usually have pretty decent self-discipline, thanks to being in the Army and my own nature.

Maybe I need to go back to doing visualization or something – I’m totally off the meditation and visualization train lately. Just too scatterbrained to accomplish much of anything right now. I’m even having issues coming up with ideas for my projects and for articles – never mind blog posts! I’m blowing deadlines and just going crazy – fortunately, the deadlines are self-imposed, not for a client. That would be really bad, but that’s not the issue right now.

What do you guys do when you’ve lost your drive? How do you get it back? Inquiring minds want to know!

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What do you think?

9 Comments

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  1. I agree with Donald Pennington – you need to start meditating again I think. I do it every day, usually for about 30 minutes, and it works wonders for me. I used to suffer from severe clinical depression and anxiety very badly, but I don’t now, and I am sure it it due to my daily meditation practice. Like you, I still suffer from lack of motivation though, and tend to waste time here on Virily, rather than getting on with what I should be doing. I guess because this website is a good distraction, and because I am earning a little through it, it makes me feel I am doing something useful (even though the earnings are really painfully slow here!) The advice given above, about focussing on life-affirming good-news stories, sounds like it is excellent too.

  2. I have taken the advice of my older sister who advised me to write good news stories like police officers doing good deeds for others or stories of everyday people saving the lives of others from a natural disaster.
    Good place to look are Sunny Skyz, MSN Good News and other happy story sites. It will break your slump.

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  3. I am so glad you asked! First off, it DOES sound like you need to get back n the meditation and visualization train. It’s something which will help refresh your brain. Girl, meditation has been proven – in Harvard-funded studies – to actually change the brain’s wiring.

    Look, even 10 minutes a day is better than nothing even f it’s just before bed or even if it means getting up a half-hour before anyone else.

    You need the recharge time.

    Also, I get the impression you are lacking some much-needed attention from someone else and that is just a crying shame. How can they not see what they got?

    You know how to contact me if you want to talk.

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