stevelinebaugh
Attention: All would be drones
Green Sky Plastics is finally hiring!!!
Putting trash in it’s place in a green way
The successful candidate will have a Bachelors of art, science, math, photography, statistics. A masters would be even better, perhaps a doctorate-we like higher learning!!!
Must have a green thumb-we have a corporate garden and that will be part of your daily tasks.
Must have a high school education….unless you have a BA or BS than that supercedes the high school education.
Must be able to speak Spanish, not sure why but we just like multiple languages and besides we like to tell jokes in Spanish. Also to be inclusive we have a weekly Mexican heritage lunch-we eat at a local Mexican establishment-Ok it’s taco bell but still….
Must be creative in solving problems but can follow specific directions so as not to be ridiculously creative-we have a brand by the way.
Must think outside the box-you won’t have an office-it’s all cubicles. We also like for all your belongings to be in a box but still be able to navigate outside of said box.
We do not discriminate on sex or race but we encourage our employees to use black and Mexican vendors and if they are woman-that’s a plus, must honestly appear inclusive and nondiscriminatory-you will be tested on this one.
Must love the color Green and use it in multiple sentences.
Must be able to discard trash in a timely manor.
Must be a self-starter – a firestarter is even better-we will need someone to start the campfire at our monthly team building campouts – we’ve lost a few employees due to the of using gas, propane and lighter fluid-all fire starting instruments have been banned from the premises.
Must be motivated to ask questions-all answers will be in writing but will be mailed in triplicate as to answer a multitude of questions that need to be answered.
Must have a car and be able to buy coffee with all the buzz terms.
Must be savy in corporate speak-we will train.
Must bring your own pen or pencil-due to budget cuts but we will provide a pen or pencil because we have specific pens and pencils you will be expected to use.
We look forward to having you on our team, as long as you fit the criteria and can use.
Management and manager in a cohesive sentence that is manageable.
It was actually a satire on that fact. It is really a satire on the idiotic nature of corporate thinking-much like the office-it was meant to leave the reader with that What did he say?-I don’t see people as races or sex-I see people as people. I hate when a company asks me to use a minority only company-you can’t be prejudice or discriminatory in a good way-you either see people as people and hire them according to their skills or you are being discriminatory and prejudice. This whole series of text is a satire on corporate stuff, that was the whole purpose-I should have marked it as satire
I actually took this as being satire. I guess since I have read everything you have posted, I knew this one was different as soon I as saw the title.
This is the first time I have downvoted a post on purpose. I did so because you chose to encourage people to hire based on what they are – gender, race – rather than on what they are – competence, integrity. Yes, you did temper the statement a bit but I still find it discriminatory.