I recognise that there are women who specifically chose to be the Other Woman. They go after married men. Their program is to live their own lives, but gain financial aid from a man who can’t demand too much of them while they keep that ‘upper hand’.
Some target politicians, rich men, and reap the benefits of the nice apartment, money for expenses. They become involved with these men, especially in Jamaica, for the ‘pension’, that is, when the man wants to replace them with a younger model, he creates or obtains a sinecure in some governmental agency, so that the tax dollars pay her to ‘go away.’
These women know exactly what they are doing and why.
I am not focusing on these women.
The women I am writing about are those who don’t know their ‘boyfriend’ is married. They don’t know they are ‘Other Women’. They don’t know what position they have put themselves in. They may find out in the worst and most embarrassing ways.
To avoid this, there are ways women can prevent themselves from being the unwitting ‘Other Woman’. It takes effort, but it is well worth it.
When a man comes into your life, a stranger, find out where he lives. Sometimes, it’s a ‘given’ because he says he lives with his parents, or has taken a premises near to you, so you know his address before you know him.
In many cases, when you meet a man at work or socially, you don’t know anything about him, save what he tells you, which may or may not be true.
To find out where he lives, means you want to see if he lives with anyone. If you are shy, ask someone else to do it. But you need to know if he lives with a woman, if he has children with her.
An alternative to this, is if he has a land line, find out his phone number and have someone call when you know he isn’t there.
Many women don’t do this. Just the idea of spying makes them uncomfortable.
The next thing you can do is be very suspicious when he takes you out. Where does he take you?
Does he drive way out of town to some minor restaurant, or movie theatre? Does he take you somewhere no one will see you with him?
This is very important. A man who takes you to a popular public venue where you will be seen by the public is likely to be single. However, this is only one test.
Another point to look for is when does he call for a date? Last minute?
Someone who calls you for a date at the virtual last minute become a suspect. In many cases, married men don’t know when they’ll be free, so they can’t ask you out for Friday on Monday. They can call at six on Friday for seven.
A flag should go up at this point.
Even if he’s not married, this last minute date means that he’s gone down his list of girls and they said no. So he asks you. If you say no he’ll call someone else because you mean nothing to him.
A very obvious point is whether he picks you up at your door or that you are to find yourself at some venue. Sometimes a man will suggest you meet him at a bus stop.
This means if anyone sees him with you, he can say he was only giving you a lift.
When a man doesn’t pick you up at your door and drop you back, he doesn’t want to be seen with you. That’s obvious.
What you should do is suggest a date on a holiday or to go somewhere big and public. If he refuses, he is probably staying home with his family, or taking them out.
An obvious clue is how, if he happens to meet anyone, does he introduce you? Does he introduce you to people does as; “My girlfriend..” or does he say; “A co-worker…” ? Does he get distant and look around when you enter a place and avoids touching you or acting romantic in public?
If a man doesn’t want to be seen with you in public, if he doesn’t let you know where he lives, if dates are last minute for some corner no one will see you, then it is likely he is married.