An Abuser might begin with a person who is estranged from their family.
In the case of Deja and Jos, he made a great show of explaining how he had nothing to do with his parents and was in a revolving in/out with his brother.
In thought he was proving how ‘independent’ he was. Deja knew; dinner was served.
In the case of Norman, Dee was totally alone. She had no family, he got rid of her friends. Unexpectedly, Dee had a well of inner strength he had not been able to drain.
Had he been more astute, he would not have misjudged Dee and would have softened his Abuse so that he could have kept her longer. If he was more astute, Norman would have realised Yvie was with him for Citizenship and that alone and never would have gone with her to the U.S.
He is an example of an Abuser who wins a battle, not a war.