(Photos courtesy of Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers…..)
There are different roles that children play in a family who is reared by a narcissistic parent. One child plays the role of the scapegoat. This role is usually assigned by the narcissistic parent. Another child plays the role of the flying monkey. The last role that a sibling would play is the role of the golden child.
When the narcissistic mother can’t accept any responsibility for her actions, she needs someone to project all of her negative feelings at. That person is usually the scapegoat. The only child that is seen in a favorable light is the golden child.
The flying monkey role is generally played by the middle child. The golden child receives all of the attention, and adoration of the narcissistic mother. That child is pitted against all the other siblings. So, whether or not the child actually envies anyone, the golden child is encouraged to compete with the scapegoat or the flying monkey child.
Keep in mind, the flying monkey isn’t the favorite, but rather, is used as a pawn to hurt the scapegoat child. The flying monkey doesn’t see this. Generally a sibling playing the role of the flying monkey thinks he’s the favorite only because he isn’t getting blamed for anything.
What he doesn’t realize is that once the scapegoat is out of the picture, the narcissistic mother will find another scapegoat to lash out at. Invariably that old scapegoat will be replaced by a new scapegoat.
The narcissistic mother will never change. The only thing that changes are the victims. This is a brief introduction of what a typical family looks like, when the parent or parents are narcissistic.