What hurts about Adultery is the betrayal, the destruction of ones life, and also the crushing of one’s ego. That one’s own spouse could find someone they rank above you.
Why are they so special? Better looking? Younger? Richer? Smarter? More fun….
Don’t rank yourself. Don’t compare yourself. Don’t see that Other wo/man as in any way superior to you.
What you have to do is heal. And you heal by concentrating on you. You look about yourself. Your health, both physical and mental. What you want.
Unless you are married to a millionaire and can get enough money so that you can live well without the other, think about you.
Your education/job/life. You. No one else.