When one recognises an Abuser, one always looks for the string, the hook, the trick, the process in which the manipulation manifests.
What does he do, how does he do it, and what are the ‘tells’?
When one escapes an Abuser, one needs to spend time, a great deal of time, analysing the behaviours to be able to comprehend what happened, how it happened.
One must be able read the abuser and create a protective barrier between one’s self and the Abuser.
By analysing the nature of the abuser, the signs and symbols, one does not only protect against this Abuser but other Abusive persons.
There is a pattern to Abuse, and once one can read it, one will not participate. This refusal destroys any chance the Abuser will win.
When an abuser realises you see though him, that you aren’t going to take him seriously, that you are not going to fall into his trap or follow his rules, he finds someone else.