We seem to make a really deadly mistake, in relationships, when we limit communication in order to spare emotions.
Yes, it is important not to be malicious with our words, our intent should never be to cause pain. But, as the old adage goes “the truth hurts” not necessarily the words. We just search for someone or something to blame as opposed to listening with the intention of having a discussion with someone purely to allow us work on our weaknesses.
When a Loved one tells us we are attractive, smart, and great; we are just fine with that being “the truth”. Yet, when these people express how they just aren’t so into us anymore, or feel that we are not prioritizing them into our lives effectively, or even that they had cheated; we tend to search for the appropriate wording.
That of course, is not how life works. We should clearly know the people we Love and listen for what their intentions were with their words rather than a better word choice.
Effective communication with a partner or friend is not the same as dealing with strangers or co-workers. Yes, they both require active listening and effective communication skills.
But, with partners and friends, we can be more direct because they understand the complexity of our different layers.
When talking with friends or partners, we should be comfortable when talking with our partners and friends and “never sugarcoat”, this is because they understand our intent and we understand theirs.
So let’s work on seeing truthfulness as thoughtfulness and never as being something harsh or hurtful….
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