After Abuse – 36

When one comes out of an abusive relationship there must be reflection time.   Getting into another relationship is tricky because you don’t want a repeat and you don’t want a misread.

If you think this new person might be an abuser, you have to  ‘test’ it.  You don’t want want to daub a perfectly decent person with the label of Abuser.

Sure, the person who never tells you where you are going, might just be surprising you.  But, it also could be an exercise of control.  

You disturb the pattern, just a little, not with antagonism, not with a long speech, but by ‘inadvertently’  setting a conflicting venue.  

If  he is disappointed, perhaps had purchased tickets to some place you would like to go, but will comply with your choice, well, you can change your mind and go with him.

If  he is angry about your exercise of will and  refuses to go with you or comes and tries to spoil it, you know he’s an Abuser.  End of relationship.


What do you think?


Written by jaylar

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