One of the problems with Abusive relationships is the the Victim feels like a victim; weak, abused, unsure, second rate.
Leaving the Abusive partner was like ‘running away’. Now that you are away, you need to analyse to understand what happened.
It takes a bit of time but once you grasp how the abuse was done, and have the signs and symbols down pat, you then attempt a ‘normal’ relationship.
You do this because to be able to deal with this person without fear or respect is victory. When you make that effort to move to boringly normal, you ‘win’.
You win back your sense of self, you regain the confidence he took from you.
To enter that normal relationship you must keep an awareness he may try to manipulate you. Again.
Knowing how he did it that first time, is your second piece of armour.
As the ‘normal’ relationship begins, as you pass the ‘hi/bye’ introduction and move to a sentence or two, wear your armour expect him to try his manipulation tricks.