The point is to reach a stage of true indifference; a stage where there is no hysteria, no anxiety, no anger, nothing.
The point is that seeing your Ex at the supermarket, an office, a club, anywhere has no impact. No fear, no anger, no anxiety. You want to be able to ‘hi/bye’ in such a way that were I beside you I could ask, “Who is that?” and when you say, “My Ex”, I’m shocked.
I’m shocked because nothing, not a blink, a breath, a motion betrays that this person once mattered to you.
Right now, this seems impossible, but if you can get some kind of balance, you CAN move to indifference. It is possible.
Most people invest so much of themselves into the Other that when s/he becomes an Ex they feel cheated. They feel as if something was taken from them and they want it back Resentment and anger fills them.
This is a waste of resources.
You have to be able to move away from that ‘connection’ until the Ex becomes as significant to you as a passing stranger.
And it is possible.