Chew, chew, chew your food!

It’s 5:51 am and the phone rang. Typically that would be a problem or exciting news. This time it was a grandson that was awake and wondering. He was going through his backpack from school and apparently reading and trying to be quiet. Waking up anyone at his home at that hour would be a rule violation. They got to bed late at night and sleep in. That is their normal routine and it works for them, Except this morning it wasn’t working for one of them.

He said “Hey I have news. We’ve been eating wrong.”

“Good morning to you! So, what have we been doing wrong with our eating.”

“I have a list. I will just read it to you. Is that okay?”

Reading is not something this child loves to do, so anytime he wants to read anything to me the answer is a quick yes.

“Well, do I have to read it in order or any way I want?”

“Anyway you want is fine.”

“You are supposed to chew each bite thirty times no matter what it is. So we have not been counting every time we take a bite. We have to start counting. Can you count to thirty?”

“Yes, I sure can.”

“Can Grandpa count to thirty?”

“Well I think so. When he gets up I will ask him.”

“Then will you please tell him to call me and let me know. I can teach him if he can’t remember.”

“That’s very kind of you. I will have him call.”

“Okay, hey what is your, ummm,  your salivary glands?”

“Well I believe that they what makes moisture in your mouth.”

“So I can spit?”

“I guess and probably it helps to break down the food, so it can go into your stomach.”

“This is kind of hard. Maybe Grandpa should come cook us breakfast and we could read this altogether and figure it out.”

About this time I wanted to laugh right out loud. Breakfast at their house is cold cereal. Breakfast that Grandpa makes is to order and hot. He knows that Grandpa will make anything he wants for breakfast and just the way he likes it.

“I don’t know what the plans are at your house today. Grandpa is still asleep. Maybe you could bring the list the next time you come stay with us and we could all try and figure it out and see if we could eat breakfast the right way. How does that sound?”

“Can we come today and spend the night?”

“Well I really don’t know. You have to wait until your Mom and Dad get up and ask them.”

“But what if they say yes and you say no?’

“Have we ever said “no you can’t come spend the night?”


“Okay, if it works with your Mom and Dad, you can come spend the night and we will read the list and eat breakfast correctly. If it doesn’t work for them today we can do it another time.”

“Well, okay, but I think you need to start eating right today. Maybe I should send this to you on facebook.”

“You can do that. Just remember that you have to use messaging when you are talking to me. That’s the rule. That way it’s just the two of us who are reading it.”

“Yeah, well I think your rule is dumb, but okay.”

“Thank you for respecting my rule. I am going to go check and see if the sun has come up. I love you and I will talk to you later.”

I am not sure what today will bring, but I pretty sure I am going to have to learn all the mistakes that we are doing at meal time. I feel blessed to have these interesting early morning calls.

What do you think?

6 points

Written by Ghostwriter



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  1. what an odd but wonderful way to be woken up in the morning. I have heard about the chewing stuff but always consider it ridiculous. I do not count but I do make sure I have completely chewed my food before I swallow. I once had the awful experience of nearly choking to death and since that time I make sure everything can get down my throat easily.

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