Abusive Children, even at a young age, need to ‘own’ their parents. At a divorce a child will select one parent to punish another.
For example, at divorce the child will destroy any relationship the parent tries to form with another person. This becomes a situation where the parent will have to choose between that other person and the child.
If the parent selects the child, s/he will lose the other person, lose every possible relationship with anouther until such time as the child leaves home.
This is very common.
Some parents will lose that possible spouse because ‘the child needs me’. The child will do his/her best to ‘control’ that parent until adulthood when they don’t need parents any more.
The child, going off at eighteen to college or a job or travelling, has no compunction in leaving the parent behind.
This kind of behaviour is common.
It needs to be called abuse because it is.