jaylar
There are children who abuse their parents. Often, this becomes evident when the ‘child’ is forty years old. By this time, the various ‘traps’ and ‘plots’ are standardised, and are only perplexing to an outsider.
Why would a forty four year old married father try to hurt his mother by telling her how she ‘beat him when he dropped the jelly jar’ at the age of three?
What is the point of even remembering this? Of having it in the front of his mind? The outsider (or therapist) can easily ascertain he is trying to create a backstory of abuse and is searching for bits and pieces to form into a whole.
The Outsider, hearing this ‘one off’ incident has sympathy/disdain for the parent; for why is s/he putting themselves in a position to even hear this?
The wise parent, having heard this whine before, realises what is happening, and makes him/herself unavailable.
What I have found is that many of these child parents virtually smother their children.
Like I always say … If you need parenting advice, just ask my kids. They can you everything I did wrong! Just follow their record of events and you won’t make any mistakes. You’ll be the perfect parent. LOL.
This is a bit different. These are ‘children’ of 40 who blame their parents for thing done over 30 years ago which were quite trivial.
Yes, I know. Tell me about it. But you know what goes around, comes around. Those 40 year-olds IF they have kids of their own, might have to go through the same experience. Only then will they know how it feels when they realize their kids didn’t think they were so perfect either.