It is horrible and painful to have to ‘relive’ the abuse, even in your mind. But it is vital that you comprehend how and why and what and how you were effected.
If you don’t, if you slam the door, if you try to ‘pretend that part didn’t happen’ you will relive it.
You will relive it by ‘obeying’ the rules set down by your Abuser even though he or she is no longer there.
You will develop certain traits which are repugnant if you do not find out why and where they came from.
If you don’t analyse you will make the same mistakes and new ones, such as assuming someone is an Abuser when they are not.
It takes time to get over Abuse.
Usually, the same time you were in the relationship, it is the same time it takes to get out of it.
Often, if you analyse it, you cut the time to recover. You realise, for example, that the reason you do this or avoid that is because you were told to, you were forced to. And when you see how it was done, you free yourself.
Once your body escapes the Abuse, you have to free your mind.