The Most difficult point to grasp is the most obvious; that is, abuse is not accidental, it is not provoked, it is as choreographed as a ballet.
The Abuser knows exactly what he is doing, exactly what results he expects and exactly how he will respond.
The Abuser knows he will criticise whatever you wear unless he personally picked it out and you are wearing it exactly as he determined.
Abuser prepares for the anti of your every pro unless you give no opinion.
If there is a difference of opinion, if you are right, he will punish you.
What any victim needs to do is to analyse every act, even silence, to see where and how it was produced.
The abuser can not help himself. He has serious mental issues. He ‘treats’ his illness by abusing you.