When you are away from the Abuser and are honest and not willing to make excuses, you will see certain things.
Imagine you were communicating by email. He writes something, you respond. He then responds with an erroneous and offensive ‘understanding’ of your post.
If you were in front of him, accustomed to his abuse, you would be cowed, almost pushed to agree with his assessment. But you are not. You are miles away.
You now have the courage to contradict his remark. He stops writing.He stops writing because he can’t retaliate.
If he was in front of you, the anger of being wrong would have him exploding in violence. But because he can’t, he sulks silently in a corner.
You realise that every time you are right and he can not use violence, he falls silent. He falls silent because he ‘lost’ .This kind of behaviour is standard.
If you and he were in some public forum where he couldn’t hit you or shout abuse, he would walk away and leave you.When an Abuser to fails to squash the victim it forces him to retreat.