The other day was rough for me. I was hallucinating for several hours. I finally asked my partner to come home from work. I don’t do that unless it’s a really bad day.
He came into the garage, my “studio”, to see what I was doing. He watched me apply paint to an ugly green and red mess on my canvas.
“I really hate this” I said
“Are you OK?” he asked, concerned.
“No. Not really.”
I kept applying paint until all of the green and red were covered. I began to feel much better. That ugly thing was out of my life. Now I have a new canvas to paint on.
It’s not that I hate green and red. They just clashed on the canvas. I prefer blues and purples. Much more relaxing colors. I’m not sure what I was thinking when I made the original painting. Was it a reflection of my inner turmoil?
Pure black is something I can work with. It isn’t much different from pure white, in the sense that they are both blank slates.